My rose. My friend. Where have you gone?
I’ve lost you in fields of yellow and white.
You were set apart. A promise about to bloom.
Where have you gone while I’ve wandered in the dark?
I lost my way and you are no longer where I left you.
Forgive me, my friend, I was a fool. I was deaf and blind.
I went searching for weeds when the Lord had given me a rose.
I tried to pick you before our time. I was pierced by your thorns.
Forgive me, forgive me. I found my way back to the light.
I’ve searched every path. I’ve looked under every tree.
Where have you gone? I can smell the ghost of your fragrance.
So close and yet so far away. Lost, lost.
When will I behold your beauty again? So radiant and alive!
When will I hear the ringing bells of your laughter?
When will I feel the warmth and joy of your company?
When will I feel your hand in mine? When… When…
The pain is too much to bear. All the flowers look the same.
None are like you. I am surrounded and yet I am alone.
There is an emptiness to each day. I am chained to dry bones.
When will I be free? When will this torment end?
Must I suffer forever? Surely, it is what I deserve for my sins.
Forgiven and yet the consequences must be paid.
Each smile tears at my soul as I mask the agony within.
If only you knew that even now I still wait for you.
In the darkness of each sleepless night, I cry out to the Lord.
I beg for freedom from this hell. I want to live. I want to die.
He covers me with love and mercy in my self-inflicted suffering.
Patience. Faith. Courage. He speaks life into me.
I rise each day to fight the flesh and the darkness in my home.
This war is beginning to take its toll.
I waver between faith and madness.
What will be left of me? Will you be there to hold me?
I will not give up. I will hold tight to the keeper of promises.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I know this to be true.
I will keep the faith and my eyes upon the field.
Someday I will find you among the wildflowers.